Trauma Training Tip
So much division. So many opinions. So much anger. So little listening.
The ears are the sense organ associated with the Water Element and the Winter-time. Our Water gives us the capacity to hear even what we are afraid to hear. In an archetypal way, Winter is a very silent time of year. We are called to listen deeply and contemplatively. We may hear the crack in the ice – is that the natural popping sound that ice makes as it freezes and thaws? Is it an indication that the ice is giving way under our feet? We take a moment to discern and listen. Is it the magic of movement of ice popping on the lake, or is it a signal to get off the ice? We need to be able to distinguish sounds in order to plan our response.
Fear is the emotion associated with the Water Element and Winter-time. Fear makes it hard to listen. We are prone to be impulsive or reactive when we feel frightened. Our brain stem takes over, and our frontal cortex goes off-line.
I think there is some considerable fear about our future underneath the many opinions we are witnessing. Some of this fear is the result of calculated manipulation by politicians. We are more easily swayed when we are afraid. It has created a sense of mistrust and division – and that will not disappear with the election.
How will we heal the mistrust? How can we serve to help our fellow citizens and our leaders to use their frontal cortex to solve the many problems our nation and our world faces, instead of using our more primitive, reactive, impulsive and fear-filled brain stems? Can we play a role to help all parties find that moment in time that makes the distinction “I am uncomfortable” from “I am not safe.” What is the role of healers? How can we help? The division in our nation will not be “over” on November 3rd. We have important work to do.
My suspicion is that people who are the most vocal with their opinions – on the right or the left – may be expressing a need simply to be heard. If we can simply say “I see you are a person with strong opinions,” instead of explaining in logical detail – and perhaps with equal or greater volume – either how they are WRONG or how much you AGREE with them – what happens? How about “I see you are a person who is passionate about your thoughts”?
In our treatment rooms it may be easy to commiserate in passionate detail how we agree with a patient – and quite challenging to be present with someone we disagree with. I think the more we can bypass the content, and even set aside our own passions, whether we agree or disagree, the more deeply we will be able to hear.
If we can instead come from a position of “I hear your words and I experience the push behind them,” the more likely we will be able to usher that person into what has given rise to their volatility. Has their passion ever been honored? Has anyone respected their push, passion, or power? Have their words ever been deeply heard? Did they have opinions that were contrary to their parents, and were they shamed for having them?
Follow-on questions might be:
- “What do you notice as you experience me hearing your passion, your strength?”
- “Where do you find that sensation?”
- “Can I invite you to stay with that sensation, that experience?” “Is it manageable?” “Let’s see what comes next.”
- “Would you like to silently scream your passion” – “Let’s see what happens when you are invited to let the world know the strength and power of your feelings.”
A whole world may open up for them – and perhaps for you as well.
Alaine’s Two Cents
The burden of CoVid 19 on teachers and students is huge. The American Education Research Association’s Peace Education Special Interest Group is reaching out to support teachers with more understanding of the impact of traumatic stress on learning.
Below is a recording of the Webinar I offered for them on The Impact of Trauma on Learning. You may notice that it’s a wee bit bumpy near the beginning; we had some disruptions that needed to be edited out.
There will be a follow up on Saturday, November 14th from 12-2 p.m. EST.
It’s free and open to the public, but you do need to register.
Check This Out!
A New Normal is a podcast that my friend Cindy Seals and her neighbor Kelley Lynch started at the onset of the quarantine. They interviewed my Quaker pal Michael Levi and I on the initiative of Choosedemocracy.us to protect and count all votes. We Quakers believe that “there is that of God in all people” – it follows easily to say that all votes deserve to be counted, all people deserve to be heard.
I used this podcast as an opportunity to explore the critical issues arising in and around the upcoming election through the lens of trauma physiology and the healing of our nation. The divisiveness and chaos that we are experiencing will not be over when the election is decided. Our nation will need its healers for a very long time!
We all need to creatively find safety, relationship and connection with ourselves, our neighbors, and especially people who we are being told are “different.” We need to cultivate that critical moment in time to discern a distinction between being “uncomfortable” and being “unsafe.” When we think we are unsafe, we are more likely to be impulsive or violent. Look for safety. Look for connection. Look for joy.
Here’s the episode in which I am interviewed!
Love to have your thoughts.
Clinical Curiosity
Where is your clinical curiosity carrying you?
Send me a question or two and I will explore them with readers in this corner next month.
Q. I’m back in the treatment room now. I try to be thoughtful around Covid 19 – wearing a mask and a shield, keeping my distance, and not lingering. I find myself scared to be in the treatment room for long – and certainly close enough to touch someone for any length of time. I miss touching people! Do you have clinical suggestions for touch in these Covid-careful times?
A. It is hard to give up touch when you’ve seen how powerful it can be, isn’t it?
I have a suggestion for replacement of the Kidney/Adrenal hold. How about touching the bones? There’s some fascinating research on the role of a bone hormone called osteocalcin that assert it is the primary signal to the adrenal gland to begin secreting adrenalin and thereby alert the body to life-threat. This is all pretty fascinating since the bones are the corresponding tissue of the Water Element. We may be able to be as effective touching the bones at the distal end of our patient’s body as we were holding their Kidney/adrenal gland in pre-Covid times.
You can use the ankle bones – the Bladder and Kidney meridians belong to the water element and circle around the medial and lateral malleolus on the ankle. Put your fingers together, making something like a “kiss” that rests on either the medial or lateral malleolus. Bring your thoughtful attention and presence. Our medicine is vibrational – and you may begin to feel a shimmer in these bones, or movement up the body that reflects discharge of a braced state or growing tone in a collapsed state – and a movement towards restoring balance in the Kidney-Heart axis.
Here’s an article on bone and osteocalcin.
Love to collect some anecdotal data on your experiences.
So glad the world has you.